It is holding me hostage.
I HATE spiders. Apart from those cute little jumpy ones and daddy-long-legs.
I don't know if it is dead or alive and there is no way I'm poking it with a stick to find out in case it runs up the stick at me. I may go out there and throw rocks at it shortly. From a safe distance.
And no it isn't a huntsman. I don't think anyway. It is about a quarter to a third of the size of a huntsman. Which is plenty big enough!!! Maybe it's a baby huntsman?
OMG! WHERE'S ITS MOTHER?!!
I think if a fully grown huntsman came up my drive I would have a heart attack.
I am not scared of snakes, mice, rats, bugs, wetas, beetles, moths or ANYTHING else creepy crawly. In fact I think all of the above are pretty cool and some make good pets. But spiders do my head in. Big ones anyway.
I am not going to be able to sleep well tonight. It is going to be out there, menacing me. There is NO WAY any of my windows will be open tonight, I don't care how hot it gets.
I'm too wimpy to even kill it. Although I'm considering backing the car up and down the driveway for a bit. But right now I'm really not keen to go into the garage which is probably crawling with all its extended family and hangers on.
If it sets one vile hairy leg in my house I'll have a spider man out tomorrow. It will be a pity for the 50 or so pet daddy-long-legs I have round the house, but if they are smart they would kill and eat it for me and earn their keep. And dispose of all evidence. I hate big dead spiders almost as much as I hate big alive ones.
I don't even want to go and look at it again. Because what if it is NO LONGER THERE???
And yes I'm aware that I'm about 32,000 times bigger than it is. I'm aware that it most likely is not poisonous. I'm aware it is probably just as scared of me as I am of it. (Well actually I doubt that last point, quite frankly). But even if it is true, any spider hater knows that is SO not the point.